Anyone have any memories/stories about Jose?
I'm hoping to have short stories that can be added to his memory cards.
Please either post/comment them here - or email them to me
THANKS MUCH!
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Letters that have to be sent...
I have to say, Dad left everything in great shape. He planned, he organized, he set things up.
There are a few things we (read Connie) is having to do - like, cancel the insurance on the car. It is going thru the auction, being sold, no longer dad's responsibility.
Well, of course the Insurance company does not want to refund the pre-paid insurance thru the end of the year. So, they are saying we can't cancel it.
They requested a copy of the Death Certificate - or they will not cancel.
I'm sorry, but, if ya want to cancel insurance, and ya get in an accident THEY AREN'T RESPONSIBLE! So what's the big deal?
So, being unable to scan & email the death certificate, I am faxing it in.
And here is the cover letter I attached:
'Please cancel the insurance on this vehicle. It is at auction. Jose Barbosa is dead and the vehicle is no longer being used or in his possession.
He has a lovely urn and will not be interred in this vehicle. You no longer need to insure it.
Thank you for your assistance in this matter.'
Do you think they'll get the point?
There are a few things we (read Connie) is having to do - like, cancel the insurance on the car. It is going thru the auction, being sold, no longer dad's responsibility.
Well, of course the Insurance company does not want to refund the pre-paid insurance thru the end of the year. So, they are saying we can't cancel it.
They requested a copy of the Death Certificate - or they will not cancel.
I'm sorry, but, if ya want to cancel insurance, and ya get in an accident THEY AREN'T RESPONSIBLE! So what's the big deal?
So, being unable to scan & email the death certificate, I am faxing it in.
And here is the cover letter I attached:
'Please cancel the insurance on this vehicle. It is at auction. Jose Barbosa is dead and the vehicle is no longer being used or in his possession.
He has a lovely urn and will not be interred in this vehicle. You no longer need to insure it.
Thank you for your assistance in this matter.'
Do you think they'll get the point?
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Friends & Family
It's been incredible -
Hearing from all the relatives, the friends who are like family.
Please don't anyone feel bad if you haven't responded or don't know what to say.
some people have written or sent cards. some have spoken in person when they see me. some have emailed. Some I think are just thinking about dad & his life. Taking a bit of time out to reflect on the relationship you had with him, with us, with your own family and friends - I think that is a great memorial. An honor to be in each other's lives and to learn lessons from each other. Speaking words simply makes it easier for others to hear you, but doesn't necessarily make others understand you.
We all mourn in our own way.
It doesn't matter what you say to us - mourning is personal and my way of mourning is probably not the same as yours. the same as my relationship to my father is mine - no one else, not my brother or sisters had the same relationship. Strange how a few years changes things.
I know we laugh at things most people don't laugh at. But it's not out of disrespect - it's out of joy - finding the humor in our lives. And hopefully, in our deaths.
I suggested I'd prefer peaceful death in my sleep - a friend of mine suggested massive heart failure while riding her bike at top speed down a hill - I might have to sign up for her method! And I'd be laughing all the way... and I suspect dad would in some way have enjoyed that much more. 'Youth is wasted on the Young'
Relationships look different from other people's perspectives.
My relationship to dad looks different when others tell me what he has said, or what they have seen.
communication again. or a lack thereof.
I hear things that dad never told me. So I keep learning about dad.
Please think of stories about dad - and share them with us.
Because you all saw a side of him we never did.
Hearing from all the relatives, the friends who are like family.
Please don't anyone feel bad if you haven't responded or don't know what to say.
some people have written or sent cards. some have spoken in person when they see me. some have emailed. Some I think are just thinking about dad & his life. Taking a bit of time out to reflect on the relationship you had with him, with us, with your own family and friends - I think that is a great memorial. An honor to be in each other's lives and to learn lessons from each other. Speaking words simply makes it easier for others to hear you, but doesn't necessarily make others understand you.
We all mourn in our own way.
It doesn't matter what you say to us - mourning is personal and my way of mourning is probably not the same as yours. the same as my relationship to my father is mine - no one else, not my brother or sisters had the same relationship. Strange how a few years changes things.
I know we laugh at things most people don't laugh at. But it's not out of disrespect - it's out of joy - finding the humor in our lives. And hopefully, in our deaths.
I suggested I'd prefer peaceful death in my sleep - a friend of mine suggested massive heart failure while riding her bike at top speed down a hill - I might have to sign up for her method! And I'd be laughing all the way... and I suspect dad would in some way have enjoyed that much more. 'Youth is wasted on the Young'
Relationships look different from other people's perspectives.
My relationship to dad looks different when others tell me what he has said, or what they have seen.
communication again. or a lack thereof.
I hear things that dad never told me. So I keep learning about dad.
Please think of stories about dad - and share them with us.
Because you all saw a side of him we never did.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Memorial Confirmed
It's at the Doubletree Hotel -
at 5000 W 127th st - just west of Cicero & the toll road.
It'll be hor-dvores -
it will be from 1pm to 5pm on Sunday 13th April.
If you click on the title it should take you to the directions page
at 5000 W 127th st - just west of Cicero & the toll road.
It'll be hor-dvores -
it will be from 1pm to 5pm on Sunday 13th April.
If you click on the title it should take you to the directions page
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Memorial - Still Confirming
Con went around today to about 7 different places - found a couple she liked. We're trying one other option - she just has to hear back from Dad's friend Jose.
Thought it would be the 6th, until my friend Laura reminded me I would be out of town just returning that day - so looks like it will be April 13th Sunday.
We are still confirming - hopefully will have a time by this weekend firmed up.
Sorry for the delay!
Dad had his urn all picked out - but when we asked the Cremation guys, they said to hold onto it - I think Con is either going to get it over to them, or we'll do the transfer later.
Thought it would be the 6th, until my friend Laura reminded me I would be out of town just returning that day - so looks like it will be April 13th Sunday.
We are still confirming - hopefully will have a time by this weekend firmed up.
Sorry for the delay!
Dad had his urn all picked out - but when we asked the Cremation guys, they said to hold onto it - I think Con is either going to get it over to them, or we'll do the transfer later.
Monday, March 3, 2008
Tentative for the Memorial
Haven't even had a chance to talk to Michael or Susanne yet, but after looking at weekends coming up - we're thinking a tentative date of April 6th Sunday for the memorial.
We're checking locations currently.
Probably in Burbank somewhere.
Sunday will make it possible for dad's car dealer friends to be there
and Con will bring mom with - seeing as it's a Sunday.
We'll confirm soon
We're checking locations currently.
Probably in Burbank somewhere.
Sunday will make it possible for dad's car dealer friends to be there
and Con will bring mom with - seeing as it's a Sunday.
We'll confirm soon
Sunday, March 2, 2008
The rest of the story
So, the rest of the day of dad's passing kinda went like this.
Turned out, accidentally called the wrong cremation place.
that was the Cremation Society.
They didn't call back to say dad wasn't arranged with them, because they said by the time they figured it out, they were close (altho we waited almost 1 1/2 hours for them to get there. But they were nice enough about it, thought they would try to sell us their service and told Con they would wait until Con got ahold of the Neptune Society ( http://www.neptunesociety.com/plans.asp )
Con called & they had records & would send someone so CS guys left. They seemed nice, but almost as if they were ready to head on over to a bar afterward (maybe have a last toast with dad??)
NS guys showed up quicker - within 45 minutes or so -
Came to the door, dressed very neatly in black.
Very polite, respectful.
Explained exactly what they would do, gave us the option to stay in the room or leave it.
Checked with Vic to make sure she was okay.
We chose to stay and they were very gentle and respectful.
Loaded dad onto a gurney, wrapped him gently in a white cloth and then moved him outside to their vehicle.
They drove an SUV and had parked it carefully so he would have little exposure to elements. Loaded him, and were on their way.
Mom was in the kitchen - so she did not witness dad leaving the house. We're hoping that will soften it for her.
We all took a deep breathe, then Con got us moving.
Everything was stripped down, the bed relocated back out of the living room, everything vacuumed and cleaned up, and couches put back in place.
This is a place where mom will continue to live, so it still needs to be a home for her.
It freaked me out a bit about the bed. Then I thought about it. Con works in a hospital. And as she put it, there's probably not one bed in there that hasn't had someone pass away in it. Everything was covered and sanitized (for your safety....)
and I felt better.
Altho, Con said if she heard any strange noises, she was out of there....
Dave (bookkeeper) and Tony (lawyer) stopped by around 7:30 - Con, Unc G, and myself for part of it sat in and they went thru what dad has set up. Pretty much everything he had already told us.
We're gonna try to keep mom in the house as long as possible - as long as she's comfortable there.
Feel free to stop in and visit. For right now, Sundays are Helen's day off - Con is planning on covering those.
We'll see how it goes.
Gabriel talked with the airlines and was able to move up his flight - Con dropped him at the airport Saturday morning and he headed back home.
I headed back home late Friday night
My wonderful neighbor's had cleared the snow from my walk & drive, and Cari even cleaned up my living room for me. (did you know my couch has room for 3 people to sit on it?? lol)
So I came home to a warm inviting home.
Talked to many friends and family.
Please pass the word on if you know we missed informing someone.
Please feel free to comment any remembrances or thoughts you have about dad.
I think you have to have a gmail account to post on this - but it's free to sign up.
We're planning to do something for a memorial in 3 to 4 weeks -
tentative plans now are to rent a hall, hold a luncheon, have photos and or slides and a chance for people to sit, eat, talk and remember dad.
I'll post as I have more info.
Turned out, accidentally called the wrong cremation place.
that was the Cremation Society.
They didn't call back to say dad wasn't arranged with them, because they said by the time they figured it out, they were close (altho we waited almost 1 1/2 hours for them to get there. But they were nice enough about it, thought they would try to sell us their service and told Con they would wait until Con got ahold of the Neptune Society ( http://www.neptunesociety.com/plans.asp )
Con called & they had records & would send someone so CS guys left. They seemed nice, but almost as if they were ready to head on over to a bar afterward (maybe have a last toast with dad??)
NS guys showed up quicker - within 45 minutes or so -
Came to the door, dressed very neatly in black.
Very polite, respectful.
Explained exactly what they would do, gave us the option to stay in the room or leave it.
Checked with Vic to make sure she was okay.
We chose to stay and they were very gentle and respectful.
Loaded dad onto a gurney, wrapped him gently in a white cloth and then moved him outside to their vehicle.
They drove an SUV and had parked it carefully so he would have little exposure to elements. Loaded him, and were on their way.
Mom was in the kitchen - so she did not witness dad leaving the house. We're hoping that will soften it for her.
We all took a deep breathe, then Con got us moving.
Everything was stripped down, the bed relocated back out of the living room, everything vacuumed and cleaned up, and couches put back in place.
This is a place where mom will continue to live, so it still needs to be a home for her.
It freaked me out a bit about the bed. Then I thought about it. Con works in a hospital. And as she put it, there's probably not one bed in there that hasn't had someone pass away in it. Everything was covered and sanitized (for your safety....)
and I felt better.
Altho, Con said if she heard any strange noises, she was out of there....
Dave (bookkeeper) and Tony (lawyer) stopped by around 7:30 - Con, Unc G, and myself for part of it sat in and they went thru what dad has set up. Pretty much everything he had already told us.
We're gonna try to keep mom in the house as long as possible - as long as she's comfortable there.
Feel free to stop in and visit. For right now, Sundays are Helen's day off - Con is planning on covering those.
We'll see how it goes.
Gabriel talked with the airlines and was able to move up his flight - Con dropped him at the airport Saturday morning and he headed back home.
I headed back home late Friday night
My wonderful neighbor's had cleared the snow from my walk & drive, and Cari even cleaned up my living room for me. (did you know my couch has room for 3 people to sit on it?? lol)
So I came home to a warm inviting home.
Talked to many friends and family.
Please pass the word on if you know we missed informing someone.
Please feel free to comment any remembrances or thoughts you have about dad.
I think you have to have a gmail account to post on this - but it's free to sign up.
We're planning to do something for a memorial in 3 to 4 weeks -
tentative plans now are to rent a hall, hold a luncheon, have photos and or slides and a chance for people to sit, eat, talk and remember dad.
I'll post as I have more info.
SNL - don't read if ya don't like
Anyone remember Saturday night Live back when Chevy Chase did the news update?
'Top story tonight: Franscisco Franco and Jose are still dead."
buh-dum-bum.
I warned ya.
'Top story tonight: Franscisco Franco and Jose are still dead."
buh-dum-bum.
I warned ya.
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